Well, this has taken me long enough to actually start to write, but here it is - my quick (or maybe not so quick, depending on your reading speed) rundown of my experiences on a recent visit to our nation’s capital, where the streets are rumoured to be paved with gold, where all your dreams are possible, and where the Queen lives.

I was struggling for a number of things before starting this, highest on the list being inspiration. However, I believe I’ve found that now, and in doing so think I’ve come up with a fairly worthwhile way of making it brief, but thorough, which is by subdividing it up into constituent parts, and expanding them from there.

Not that you needed to know that.

So sit back, grab a brew, and try to enjoy a whirlwind review of my first experience of London-town since I was 8 years old, and my first experience as a ‘proper grown up’.

Sightseeing

Due to various constraints (read: hangovers) this important aspect of any visit to London was somewhat cut short, and didn’t include the wearing of cheap, plastic Union Jack (or Union Flag, as I was recently corrected) hats, bells, whistles, and cameras - much to my disappointment. However, we managed to fit a small amount in, albeit on the last (Sunday) afternoon when myself and Mike wandered around with me looking lost and Mike pretending not to be, doing a decent circuit from Duncan’s place out by Buckingham Palace, various statues, Westminster, and culminating in a fun few hours onboard HMS Belfast, which, in fairness to it, was a whole lot more fun that I first imagined it would be. I still stand by my original comments that it would make a much nicer wreck, but the way it was laid out, and the information it held, was more than enough to be enjoyable and interesting to me, the stereotypical layman.

This was all capped off by a thrilling ‘Hunt for the Underground’ in order to get to Brixton and wait for the arrival of messrs. Dixon and Singh

Could / Should we have seen more? Yes. But it’ll have to wait until the next time, won’t it?

Music

Brilliant. I can’t even begin to explain about it but the diversity was immense. The bands were impressive. And even some of the tunes that were on in other areas of the club Saturday night was good by my standards (admittedly it’s not my area of expertise). Jazz was… nice.

Drink

Lots. And lots. The first night was pretty much epic in proportions, resulting in my curling up and sleeping in one club - good music though. Surprisingly good beer, of which we did copious amounts. No nozzles on the pumps though. -1… you Southern Fairies.

Drugs

Odds and sods I hadn’t tried before (and a few years ago would probably have said I wouldn’t try). To be honest my personal reaction was mixed though. Maybe had just too little, I don’t know. I would definitely try them once more though, I never suffered any adverse effects and would be interested to see if it was the same ‘nothing much’ experience one more time around. I basically felt a little bit more awake (I was fucking knackered..) but not knowing quite what to expect it wasn’t what I obviously thought it would be…

Sex

N/A

Atmosphere

Fucking busy. Rude. Ignorant. Yet strangely entertaining.

Overall

Superb. I genuinely can’t thank Diko and Duncan enough for looking after the lost sheep they had in tow for the weekend, and I definitely ahd a brilliant time.

It was also not quite what I expected from London. For a start it was much cleaner than I expected (granted, I’d spent the week before in Cairo where the streets are paved with… shite) and, as mentioned, the beer was much better than expected, although I failed to find Black Sheep despite claims that it can be found… Stout in the Porterhouse was extremely tasty, would definitely do some of that again. And hopefully Mr Dixon learnt a trick or two from our drinking of Russian Standard before going out. Even if it killed me (not literally..).

The worst part of it all? Getting used to the hustle and bustle. There’s definitely no real form of ‘team-spirit’ in those situations… which was a little odd. But an experience, and it certainly was trying to get back out with all my bags… but I made it!

Other than that, not much more I can really add. Great few days. Bought a beautiful hat. Life is sweet.