These rules may also apply to the rest of Egypt, but they definitely apply in Cairo:

1. Road Markings are a Figment of Your Imagination
   Sure, they may seem like they mean something, but adhere to them at your own risk. Pretend they mean something if you like, but nobody else does.
2. Never Look Back
   I know you may feel the temptation to check behind you fully before pulling out, but don’t. If the guy / girl behind you can’t see that you’re about to turn erratically one way or the other at a moment’s notice without indicating then they shouldn’t be on the fucking road in the first place. If they scratch your car feel free to jump out and politely tell them that they’re in the wrong.
   Or scream and shout.
   Or ignore it.
3. Traffic Lights are for Decoration
   Never, ever, pay attention to traffic lights. They’re simply there to provide illumination on a dark evening and to keep up with the rest of the world. In the absence of a Traffic Policeman to remind you to ignore them, just keep edging the car slowly further forward until you’re across all the oncoming traffic. They’ll slow down, they have to.
4. Fuck the Pedestrian
   There’s plenty more where they come from. Fucking lunatics
5. Wear Your Seatbelt
   Or we’ll book you.
   That’s right, you might feel secure playing destruction derby along our roads, or passing public transport with people hanging out of the doors, but if you’ve not got your seatbelt on then you’re not, and you will get booked for it.
   Conversely, speed as much as you like. There are limits, but without a speed gun, how are we meant to know how fast you’re going? Your seatbelt though? Well, we can see that…